colorme_glitter

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 21:11:43 GMT

CRISIS

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 00:38:24 GMT

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 01:22:08 GMT

I met Sage's owner yesterday.
She was watching me ride. Sage was antsy, and her trot was so fast that I bounced a bit. ugh.
Her canter was okay, but the first time I was on the wrong lead.
EMBARASSING!
We jumped, she knocked one over. We did a lot of circle work and switching leads.
Ugh.
Catherine just sat there...watching me.
After I rode I asked her about biology (she's in vet school), so maybe that will make me okay.

School is SHJKSHJKNREKS.
I hate it when I'm nice to people and invite them places, and then they exclude me. Bitches.
Most of my friends are too busy to hang out with me :/
I'm growing away from my best friends.

WAH WAH WAH.

I am just in a down phase :) it'll be better later.

Friday I am lunching with MK, and then working with Maria on our Latin projecto.

I might see Will sunday. He's been really bitchy. Whines and wants to hang out with me and then, "OHGOSHBUSY."

My friends are lame.

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 02:03:40 GMT

So I am not trying in school.
I have A's (B in Math) in my classes. I make some B's on tests and quizzes though.
I am so stressed right now,
I HAVE TO START TRYING.

Ugh.

David makes me feel so fucking stupid.
He whines about not getting 100's. :/

I am retarded.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 11:26:51 GMT

I am not insecure about my looks. I know I'm at best cute, but I'd really like to be beautiful.

One pound away from my goal.
If I can't be beautiful, then my body has to be in great shape.

facebook honesty boxes only lead to speculation

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 00:42:41 GMT

"I think you're so cute but start being original."

Sun, 20 May 2007 14:01:19 GMT

I'm about to kill myself.
I have exams til thursday oh god oh god oh god.

I'll be at the library until it closes bringing a sandwhich and a drink.
Oh jesus :/
I'm studying three subjects.
Latin Science and Religion.

I'm about to have a nervous breakdown

Wed, 16 May 2007 23:31:33 GMT

me and libby.
it's a bad angle for me, makes me look chubby but ah oh well.

Sun, 13 May 2007 17:45:06 GMT

How many calories should I be taking in?
Am I normal looking?
Should I throw away my scale?
Here's from food for all of your thoughts.

male chicks (from laying hens) killed per year by suffocation, gas, or grinding in the US: 200million
males chicks used per day for fertilizer, chicken food, and pet food in China: 40,000

US Chickens

broiler chickens that have trouble walking: 90%
chickens still alive at the scald tank: 20%
number of chickens slaughtered, 1969 to 1992: 200% increase

Related Human Issues

estimated US health care costs per year related to excessiver meat consumption: $60-120 billion
children dying of starvation or malnutrition per day, worldwide: more than 33,000
portion of US grain crop fed to animals destined for slaughter: 70%

Sat, 12 May 2007 13:24:34 GMT

I'm going to just stop staying in touch with everyone...you know? Just fuck it. I never get to see anyone and they probably don't think of me as their close friend anymore, and my mom won't let me go anywhere.
So fuck it.

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 19:19:50 GMT

fuck im whiney

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 20:20:15 GMT

I'm dizzy, but I feel thin, best feeling in the world.
I finishes The Count of Monte Cristo (unabridged) it...is amazing.
It makes me oh so sad too. Edmond does not get back together with Mercedes, their love has evaporated. Other stuff happens that makes me equally sad but elixerated...and then happy.

Kathryn is back in the house.
I don't really care, until she talks.

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 10:42:39 GMT

well she's going to prom.
and can't choose between ssempa or win.

is it reasonable for me to feel put out?

I'm ridiculous.

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 16:13:18 GMT

what if you had a secret

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 22:58:33 GMT

I feel like quitting soccer...I really hate it.
I haven't gone to practice at ALL this entire week. I have to go thursday and friday though...wait I have therapy. Bitch pleaaase.

I'm all bland and blah (plus sweaty).
It's like this eating disorder shit is sapping me, but I feel really good. No depression or anything as of late.
There's a dance Saturday!!! I'm super excited. :) I invited Katie yay.

Err...yeah.
Peoplezzz, call me sometime? Maybe I can go out next weekend (not this but the following)

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 22:45:02 GMT

if you don't want to hang out with me or like me, just stop fucking leading me on.
thank you very much.

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 22:14:53 GMT

Mom doesn't want me to buy
one flew over the cuckoo's nest
Weird huh? Restricting my books...whatever. Horses are good :) some bucking but lately they've been coming along. Yay.
I'm thoroughly satisfied with how I look (finally?). Yay.

made a new journal for my stupid ED shit.

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 02:16:54 GMT

After that depressing subject line

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 14:52:38 GMT

Libby and I are going to have a burn picture.
I found negatives of my father, I'm burning journals, and all the stuff he bought me.
It'll be so relieving.

I guess I realize it wasn't my fault. It was his fault. But I still have to deal with it, but it wasn't my fault. He shouldn't have done that shit in the first place.

Nevermind this. Making people feel disgusted is not necessary.

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 00:50:29 GMT

So coooold here.

I'm 119 now ):
EWWWW.

scratch that, I'm 118 still ew though

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 20:37:49 GMT

scary mexican grass cutting man kept making signs at me when mom and I were in the car line for the bank

english exam was hard, but I completed it all

blech. I've been purging, but it doesn't bother me anymore, except for my throat hurts like fuck...I'm gonna talk to my therapist about it.

hohum. I'm feelin good today :3

So. I was thinking about my Mumsy today.
And she told someone, "Yeah Margaret was always into boy things" and frowned at me. 3rd-5th grade I wanted to be a boy. 4th grade I didn't want a bra, I wanted to be a boy so I wore everything baggy.
From wanting to be a boy, to being girly-boyish. Hrm.

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 16:23:15 GMT

Emory was fun.
Mom and I are sorta getting along.
:)

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 22:20:50 GMT

Libby and I spent a long time talking.
About all manner of things chemical imbalances, food, sports, competition, self esteem, jobs, and nightmares.
Apparently there's a secret she hasn't told me, but she will show me a picture that pretty much explains it all. I am itching with curiosity.

I've spent all of today reading in a tree, sleeping, eating, and helping mother with taxes.

Low self esteem is ridiculous and I need to get rid of it pronto.
Especially the weight thing.

I'm drawing a map of fairyland. Pretty much it's where all of my pretend games take place. Like in study hall, class, church, and with all my friends and children. I'm such a silly girl. Really.

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 19:44:36 GMT

mon ami
si loin,
J't'entends pas!
Dis-Moi ou t'es
mon amour,
cher bebe
je vais t'avaler
et
ne disent
Mon amour
Tu t'effaces

:3 my attempt at a French poem

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 17:38:21 GMT

Private journal. So comment to be added yo.